I guess things are going better. I do not know how to explain it but maybe. It seems as though I am stuck. I am not feeling like Sis. Tammi did but kind of like her. I feel like I am stuck in a canyon. Walls on every side and I can not get out. So I guess I am not doing better but probably getting worst. This is the first time a feeling stayed with me. And it feels real. It feels real. Could you pray for me please.
It seems as though God is not real at some times and then I know kinda at the same time that He is real. I hope I am not tiring you what I am saying. I really do. There is a great war going on. I do not really feel like praying or reading the Bible although I have asked God questions. I am going to say this " The Devil really really wants anybody that he can get." At nights I get sometimes very angry and I still feel the feeling of being stuck unless if for some reason I don't during the day. One day I want to get as close as I can to God and I find myself not really wanting to any more and still want to at the same time but feel that I can't.
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2 comments:
You've got to fight it, Nate! There is a spirit behind it, and that's what you've got to recognize. You're not a weakling. You have the ability to resist the devil! You have the ability to punch him square in the face and order him to leave. Don't be so timid. He will bully you for as long as you'll let him.
By the way, when you least feel like praying or reading your Bible, that's when you need to do so the most. It's not that your soul does not crave those things, it is simply that the enemy is trying to convince you that its too much work or that its not worth the effort.
Here's where the men and boys get divided and real maturity enters into the equation. A spiritual child will give in and never follow though, but the spiritually mature will buck up and look and do what is best rather than what is easy.
I know that its a battle, Nate, but it's one that you have to fight! The longer that you go without praying or reading the Bible, the more vulnerable you will be to these kinds of attacks. By discouraging you from reading or praying, the enemy is essentially ensuring that you'll remain at his mercy during the ongoing battle and never be victorious over him.
Soldiers don't want to fight, but they fight because it is necessary. Reading your Bible and praying will make you victorious, if you read and pray with your heart. That's why the enemy tries to convince you that you don't want to do it.
Be a man, Nate! Don't let the enemy make you a lazy, defeated Christian whose faith is ultimately starved to death because you neglected to feed it for so long.
I have felt many nights, one in particular stands out...I was on vacation (before damon died) and he was already asleep, there I lay wide awake literally feeling like my prayers were going no where, condemned, it was suffocating...i was convinced I could not break through. it was horrible...but it wasnt real. your mind can convince you of nearly anything. I know, I have been there, done that. To the point i literally thought I was going crazy. its your MIND. dont give that stupid lying devil a single inch. he aint worth it, he is a loser. A LOSER and soon, very soon, he will bust hell wide open forever. God is a God of peace. Look this up in the bible...Phillipians 4:8, think on this scripture.
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