Saturday, February 2, 2008
..........
I do not know how to explain it but something is happening. I do not feel refreshed of the Lord. It is as though I do not want to do any thing with God. There is a part of me that wants to be with God and another feeling that does not want to. There seems to be something blocking and not blocking me. It is hard to explain.It is not really blocking it is something. Myself maybe? I do not know. There is a BIG turmoil, destruction going inside of me. I am not trying to get attention. This is what I am really am feeling even though I may not express it outwardly hardy at all. Why is it? One day I really am for the Lord. And it seems as though just not to long ago I do not really want God and a little tiny part wants to but the majority doesn't want God.
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Galatians 6:9
"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not."
I understand the games of the mind. All to well. God IS with you, you have to purpose in your heart to serve the Lord when you feel like it and when you don't. God will hold your hand, through all the fear and pain, just don't let go of Him and one day, it will be worth it all. God takes no joy in your suffering, give your mind to him.
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